1. EDUCATE.
The war on drugs has nothing to do with saving your children from harmful
substances. If it did, it would be educating them instead of keeping
them ignorant and enabling them to fear, abuse, misuse, develop dependence
or adherence problems associated with drugs.
2. BE OPEN AND HONEST. We
lose children all the time through deception. Santa Claus and fairy
tales where people live happily ever after may seem sweet and innocent,
but they subtract from reality. You can't teach kids that drugs will
always have a fatal reaction if it's not true. When you lie to your
child, you're deceiving your child... just like an adult only with far
greater consequences.
3. IMPROVE SELF-ESTEEM.
Never ask a child or adult to admit to something that's derogatory.
When someone says: "Hi, my name is so-and-so, I'm a drug
addict", it reinforces the behavior and produces a lower self
image. The subconscious picks up on this. "I am,
therefore..."
4. GET CLOSER. If
you discover a child or family member using drugs, the worst thing you can
do is to alienate them by yelling and punishing them. You have to
first understand why they are using drugs in the first place. To get
to the root of the problem, you must become a magnet, developing a
closeness with the family member. Because when they feel isolated or
abandoned, the reasons why they are using drugs fade. To
handle problem, you must be in the best possible position to deliver
help.
5. BLAME YOURSELF
AS THE PARENT. If you are the guardian or parent of a child who
is using drugs, you should be blaming yourself before blaming everyone
else. After all, the kid is in your custody. It's only logical
that you are at fault. Don't blame atheletes, drug dealers, the
friend your kid hangs around with. The world doesn't police your
child. As the caretaker, that is your responsibility. So grow
up. You are the one that made the commitment and you are the one
that is in charge of the minor. No one else is to blame.
6. LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD.
Oprah and talk show hosts don't have the answers. Treatment is
not necessarily the answer. You don't turn your kid in to
authorities. What you do is understand and absorb. Get into
your kid's head and learn from your kid.
7. DELIVER
GUIDANCE: We all experience life from front to back, beginning
to end, therefore we know what our child is going through during those
adolescent years, those teenage years. As parents, we must guide our
children through these years and nurture them. Life builds on
life. If we take the trip together with our children, then our
children will take the trip with their children and pass along information
f your kid tells you that he uses
8. REWARD WITH CAUTION.
Sugar is the gateway drug that we feed our children as rewards.
Never make food a reward. Rewarding a child (or even an adult)
with sweets or other food is the first step towards abuse. Instead,
reward a child with something educational, a game, or a movie... anything
but not drugs or food.
9. SET THE EXAMPLE.
The way you live your life will dictate to your children how to
or not how to live their lives. While children repeat what they see,
they also make judgments on the outcome. If you work hard and the
outcome isn't fulfilling, a child is likely to approach life with a
different work ethic. The sons and daughters of a single parent may
or may not be a single parent themselves. The important thing is to
live your life the way you want to live it.
10. PLAN YOUR LIFE &
LIVE BY THAT PLAN. Too many children are raised by
families as unwanted children. If you truly don't want a
child, don't waste your time or your child's life. There are plenty
of families that want to raise your baby. In the end, your child
will be happier, a family will be happier. If anyone is to have
regrets, it will be limited to you, and since it was your decision, you
should accept the consequences. |